Dear Ernie . . .

Jackleg Thinktank
Admiral Jackleg

August 30, 2005

Ernie Fletcher, Governor
Commonwealth of Kentucky
Frankfort, Kentucky 40601


Dear Governor Fletcher,
Although I am a lifelong Democrat, I think you did exactly the right thing in pardoning all your subordinates. I know you ran for governor promising to "clean up the mess in Frankfort," but surely everyone knew the mess you were talking about included Kentucky's inconvenient merit system. Hiring people because they are qualified sure gets in the way of hiring people who have the right ideas and the right connections.

I cannot tell you how many times I myself have been frustrated by the Kentucky Merit System. It is very annoying to be denied a job just because you are not qualified to do it. Life would make more sense to those of us who are filthy rich if we could have State jobs just because of who we know down at the Country Club.

Tomorrow, I am going down to the Courthouse and changing my registration to Republican and coming straight home and making a contribution to the Republican Party. I have two requests. First, I need a State job that pays about $100,000 and includes an automobile, preferably an SUV. Second, I need a pardon, because since they are so easy to come by, I probably will forget to come to work and might even cheat on my Kentucky taxes.

Finally, I admire your restraint, but you might consider Lt. Gov. Pence's approach in this matter. Is there any possibility that you might be able to arrange castrations for Stumbo and his minions if they continue to investigate Merit System violations?

Sincerely,
Admiral Jackleg